"When life gives you lemons, buy a Coke."
The above is a quotation from a fellow intern this past summer. Unfortunately, when life gives me lemons, I cannot make lemonade. It has calories. Actually I can't buy a regular Coke, either. Damn.
In the past I've responded to stress and depression by not eating. This current situation actually has me stress eating - then hating myself for it. The fluctuating body image is the worst part. Last week I thought for a minute that my face looked thin; yesterday all I could see was my double chin. And of course it's spring - the beautiful weather brings out the shorts, the sundresses, the hundreds of bodies that mine will never resemble. For one thing, I'll never be that tan. And I shudder to think of exposing that much of my body to the public.
I need a good shaking. Last week Jim asked, "are you okay?" This long string of posts doesn't really make me look like the most stable of people.
In other news, it's Jim's birthday and I'm not with him. I'm going back to bed.