Saturday, October 11, 2008

Guh

I do not feel good. I woke up yesterday with a sore throat and it's gone downhill from there. My nose and head are stuffy and it feels like I swallowed a pinecone. A breakfast of oatmeal and tea helped, but I just feel crappy.

So the question - should I exercise?

Right now the thought of dragging my ass over to Ping is not a fun one. Then again, sometimes it's not a fun thought on days when I feel fine. I go on those days, because I know I'll feel good once I get there and exercise is part of becoming healthy. I read an article - which probably had some title like "Too Sick To Exercise?" - that said as long as your symptoms stayed above the neck, you were fine to work out. So far, mine are. I could go - and in my mind, this translates to should go. If I don't, that means I'm weak, poorly disciplined. My good habits are all going to go down the drain, I'll balloon, and everyone will see that I'm really not as good a person as they've been led to believe.

It's so goddamn easy to fall back into that way of thinking. And who the fuck cares? If I skip the gym for one day (or two, since I might not have time tomorrow), if I take the elevator, if I have as much cake as the next person, or (gasp!) even more - nobody's thinking about me as much as I am. And if they are, well, that's their problem.

Even after saying all this, there's still a voice in my head trying to convince me that it's all crock. Sigh.

**EDIT** For those of you who don't attend Ohio University, Ping is the name of our fitness/recreation center. And I'm not going today.

1 comment:

Cammy said...

Oh man, I am so guilty of this. I definitely understand your conflict. Do you exercise even though your body feels terrible, or give yourself a physical break and then beat yourself up mentally?

I guess it comes down to keeping a grip on perspective: what is the purpose of exercise, anyway? To make you healthy and keep you strong. Will forcing yourself to go to the gym while you're sick serve that purpose, or will it serve the purposes of ED thoughts?

Take care, I hope you feel better soon.