Tuesday, June 23, 2009

ED Panic

Oh holy shit guys. I'm huge. Enormous. The food is weird and I'm either starving or stuffing myself.

I know this is just all the stress coming down on me and I know I am not going to die or fail because of my size. But holy moly this sucks a lot of balls.

I miss Jim. I miss my family. Thank goodness I'm surrounded by fun, engaging, smart people to distract me. Of course nothing can ever be distracting enough.


Gaaaahhhh.

3 comments:

Gaining Back My Life said...

Just today, Lisa. Just concentrate on today. Tomorrow is too overwhelming & a good excuse, to boot.

I'm fighting with you!!!

lisalisa said...

I hear you (i'm kind of in the same boat)! Do you have a back-up meal plan you could go to to make it through? Hang it there- hopefully this is just a reaction to all the changes in your life and things will normalize once you find your feet. I will be sending + thoughts your way!

Sarah said...

I'm w/ lisalisa-if you need to, you should stop whatever situation is stressing you out (I'm guessing communal meals at training?) and do what you need to do to get yourself back on track. Claim allergies or something if anyone notices. There's no shame in it. It's important though (and you know this, which is why you so healthfully expressed your emotions-good job.) Sometimes I honestly feel like I am going to die from eating a meal, and that is when I need to go to a restaurant with printed calorie information or a frozen dinner. I pick based on the numbers I'm supposed to have. I eat. I hope you can do the same.