Thanks for all the congratulations and well-wishes. It means a lot to me that you all are out there reading and thinking good things my way.
I did well with food all weekend, and then today ... I was not happy with my body when I woke up. I was talking to Dr. M about it today. My thought process was, if I already am so unhappy with my body, then why did I eat all that food/drink all those drinks this weekend? Why?????
She stopped me and made me think about that. And then I got angry. How twisted is it that I can be so damn happy about my life and still hate myself for eating. Why was I eating and drinking so much? Because I got fucking engaged! The crappy thing is that I can recall dozens of weight-loss articles that urge women (always, it's always women) not to "celebrate with food." Well, fuck that. We should not be made to feel guilty about eating good food with good people when good things happen.
Someone agreed to spend his life with me. I'm doing TFA. I have an apartment. The size of my belly does not matter. Or at least it shouldn't.
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A mouse in a house of catcalls
About Me
- Lisa
- NOVA via Ohio. Wannabe teacher - anthropologist at heart. Engaged. Some food issues. Let's see where this goes.
Sites to See
- Adventures in Wanting
- Bearing, Eating, Being
- Between Living and Existing
- Blogoxygen
- Building Beauty Beyond Body
- Center for College Affordability and Productivity
- Eating with your Anorexic
- ED Bites
- ED Deception
- Every Woman has an Eating Disorder
- I Hate to Weight
- Just Eat It!
- Marine Snow
- Shapely Prose
- Size Ate
- Sunday Confessional
- The F-Word
Blog Archive
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2009
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June
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- Locus of Control
- Things that may or may not be true
- Rules
- Do the Right Thing
- ED Panic
- Made it!
- So here goes
- Obligatory Father's Day Post
- Shiny and new
- Just to clarify
- Life 2.0
- Slightly imperfect
- Boxes and boxes and boxes
- Perspective
- Fears
- Dying of embarrassment (almost)
- "Chill."
- Baby I'm amazed
- Success
- It's not a problem, it's just a challenge
- Flowers are expensive
- Tattoos and taboos
- And the big things keep coming
- Aw and awwww
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June
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2 comments:
You have SO much to celebrate about yourself, Lisa, I say indulge if you damn well please. You are doing TFA, you have a wonderful fiancee (!), and you are successful in general because of many, many qualities that have nothing to do with your waistline. Plus, a few days of treating yourself will not translate into significant weight gain, no matter what those ED brain-shadows try to tell you.
Also, treating yourself well is a gift to both you and your loved ones.
personally, i seem to become self-destructive when things are going well. i'm not drinking, i'm at a good healthy weight, i have a job, a great boyfriend. THAT frightens me and i notice i'll start drinking or eating way past full.
still, if you ate more than usual because you were at a party, that's NOT destructive. that's normal. hope you can let it go.
take care.
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