Monday, June 1, 2009

Aw and awwww

Thanks for all the congratulations and well-wishes. It means a lot to me that you all are out there reading and thinking good things my way.

I did well with food all weekend, and then today ... I was not happy with my body when I woke up. I was talking to Dr. M about it today. My thought process was, if I already am so unhappy with my body, then why did I eat all that food/drink all those drinks this weekend? Why?????

She stopped me and made me think about that. And then I got angry. How twisted is it that I can be so damn happy about my life and still hate myself for eating. Why was I eating and drinking so much? Because I got fucking engaged! The crappy thing is that I can recall dozens of weight-loss articles that urge women (always, it's always women) not to "celebrate with food." Well, fuck that. We should not be made to feel guilty about eating good food with good people when good things happen.

Someone agreed to spend his life with me. I'm doing TFA. I have an apartment. The size of my belly does not matter. Or at least it shouldn't.

2 comments:

Cammy said...

You have SO much to celebrate about yourself, Lisa, I say indulge if you damn well please. You are doing TFA, you have a wonderful fiancee (!), and you are successful in general because of many, many qualities that have nothing to do with your waistline. Plus, a few days of treating yourself will not translate into significant weight gain, no matter what those ED brain-shadows try to tell you.

Also, treating yourself well is a gift to both you and your loved ones.

Lissy said...

personally, i seem to become self-destructive when things are going well. i'm not drinking, i'm at a good healthy weight, i have a job, a great boyfriend. THAT frightens me and i notice i'll start drinking or eating way past full.

still, if you ate more than usual because you were at a party, that's NOT destructive. that's normal. hope you can let it go.

take care.