Sunday, February 15, 2009

"If man were meant to fly, he would have been born with wings."

1. Do not fly Continental.

2. Do not fly into Newark. This terminal feels like a big sweaty buttcrack.

3. Do not ask someone how they like The Shack. Because this weird gleam will appear in his eyes and he will say "it's so good. It's even better than everyone says." And then when you're stuck on the runway for AN HOUR (see #1), he will give it to you and tell you to "pass it on." You will then read the back with a sinking feeling in your stomach. Then you will start to read and discover that it is the WORST BOOK EVER. I mean, there might be a plot there, but we're talking Stephanie-Meyers-level bad. And so far no body-glitter-sporting vampires have appeared to redeem its awfulness. How, how, HOW has this book been on the bestseller list for the last six months?

4. Don't leave D.C. There. That's the solution to all my problems right now.


MelissaS said...

yes, yes - i live not far from newark airport. horrible place. i have to say Continental has been better for me that US Air. US Air repeatedly lost my luggage and never got me to my connecting flight on time.

good luck getting home!

Just Eat It! said...

I didn't think it was possible to create a book worse than "dazzling" unrealistic, adolescent vampire love (reading those books was the biggest waste of my life, ever). My sister gave me the "I love The Shack" spiel once and I never read it.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh. My dad wants me to read that book.. and he explained it to me. But I'm a paranoid freak with a daughter and I'm not about to even think of reading that.
No way.