Dr. M today was intense. I think she was angry, or aggravated - not at my "failure to reschedule" for two months, but how I'm completely unreasonable and apparently forgot everything I ever learned in therapy. It was not a fun 40 minutes. I was reminded yet again that I'm not at all objective about my body (yesiamyesiamyesiam), that it's ridiculous to want to look like a model. She softened up after a little while, but I still felt damn stupid. And all of this is rooted in my intense fears of the next few months - which I'm not sure if I buy. Then again, this wouldn't be the first time that something I thought I was "handling" well pops up in a completely different form.
Apparently I need to add some variety to my diet, too. She said that could be the basis for my weight gain. Actually, she pooh-poohed the idea that I'd gained much at all, and I almost climbed up on the scale to show her. Almost. I'm still scared to do that.
I got my RX renewed. At least that will help with the incessant OCD buzz.
Next appy is in two weeks. Maybe I won't get such a stern talking-to then.