Monday, February 23, 2009

Drained spaghetti

Dr. M today was intense. I think she was angry, or aggravated - not at my "failure to reschedule" for two months, but how I'm completely unreasonable and apparently forgot everything I ever learned in therapy. It was not a fun 40 minutes. I was reminded yet again that I'm not at all objective about my body (yesiamyesiamyesiam), that it's ridiculous to want to look like a model. She softened up after a little while, but I still felt damn stupid. And all of this is rooted in my intense fears of the next few months - which I'm not sure if I buy. Then again, this wouldn't be the first time that something I thought I was "handling" well pops up in a completely different form.

Apparently I need to add some variety to my diet, too. She said that could be the basis for my weight gain. Actually, she pooh-poohed the idea that I'd gained much at all, and I almost climbed up on the scale to show her. Almost. I'm still scared to do that.

I got my RX renewed. At least that will help with the incessant OCD buzz.

Next appy is in two weeks. Maybe I won't get such a stern talking-to then.

1 comment:

Kristina said...

Despite the fact that it wasn't a "fun" 40 minutes, it sounds as though you can get a lot out of the sessions, not only in terms of RX but perhaps to better prepare yourself and to give yourself the necessary tools for all the changes that you'll be handling over the next few months.
I know that I often think that I'm doing 'great' handling everything on my own, but I'm learning to ask for help too.