Monday, May 25, 2009

When it rains

The gym opened at 6 PM today due to the holiday.

It started raining at 5:45. I thought, I'll go. A little rain won't hurt me, right? Plus you had all that wine and cheese last night. Plus you've been eating like a hoss anyway. Plus you just need to go, it'll make you a good person.

I go. I make it about 100 yards before my sandal falls off (I had my shoes in my bag).

Keep going. You need to work out. You need to do this.

I stood there. I turned around and came back. Tomorrow would have been my "off" day anyway, so I'll just go then.

Is it still a victory if you hate yourself a little?


Cammy said...

I think that if anxiety and self-doubt weren't involved, it wouldn't have been such a victory to make the hard decision. You should be proud, remember it is your holiday, your life and not the ED's. Have a good night, take care and treat yourself kindly.

Harriet said...

Well, it's better than hating yourself a lot, so I'd say yes.

lisalisa said...

I think it's a victory that you stood up to ED in the face of the self loathing that you knew would inevitably follow! Very inspiring!