Thursday, January 29, 2009

Pow pow, I'm trigger-happy

I bought something online. It's clothing of a variety that is very, very risky to purchase without trying it on. The problem's not with the item, it fits decently enough.

The problem is the catalog that came with it. I will never, never, EVER look like these women. Rationally I know that even they don't look like that, there's enough airbrushing here to make Joan Rivers attractive. But I still want to. Which then begs the real question - why? Why do I want to look like these women? Sure, they're conventionally attractive according to Western standards. "Hittable," if you will. Curves indicating that you'd be able to maximize your reproductive potential and ensure your genes make it a little longer in the pool.

But I"m never going to have that stomach. WHAT is my issue with stomachs? Is it some creepy subconscious fetish I have? Okay, you couldn't iron a shirt on my abdomen (... ouch). BFD. That doesn't mean my stomach is ugly or repulsive. Just ... don't leave the lights on.

Gaaah stoppit. There's nothing wrong with me, unless you think that these models are the way women are supposed to look. In that case yes, there's plenty wrong with me. But that's not true.

So why, why, why can't I quit pinching my stomach and just let it go? I keep beating myself up over this and it's such a goddamn waste of energy.

5 comments:

Caiti said...

I know how you feel...it sucks. We just have to remember that every body is unique and even the cave women did not have stomachs like a model does. And she had plenty of hard exercise and totally organic, natural foods. :)

Cammy said...

Keep in mind that the models probably do not have stomachs like the models do either, they are all airbrushed and digitally slimlined and enhanced, etc. And even if they DID, the amount of time/energy/pain it takes to maintain such a physique would probably be much better spent on more rewarding enterprises...stay strong and hang in there.

Cammy said...

P.S. I sent you an e-mail, using the address in your blogger profile, let me know if a different one is better.

I Hate to Weight said...

you ask great questions. why do want to look like (yes airbushed) models? i don't know. why are all our models and actresses skinny, skinny, skinny? i don't know.

i can only think my old theory -- it's survival of the fittest, and being so skinny will not enable us to survive. MEN WILL. all that dieting takes so much time. i do think this oppresses women. it keeps us very small and busy and tired and, therefore, less threatening. if you look at older women in the public eye and they're all skinny and face-lifted and made-up. who are they? they're not themselves. so busy working on themselves -- powerless.

Anonymous said...

"Hittable," if you will.

hahaha