For someone who was just accepted into a highly competitive service program (that's right, you Ivy-Leaguers, I go to PUBLIC SCHOOL), I have certainly been treating myself like shit. Mentally, that is.
Okay. So we don't know why, exactly, my stomach is looking a little bulbous. Or my hips and thighs, for that matter. I'll admit to slacking on my ab exercises lately, and maybe I'm adding too much apple butter to my oatmeal and having too many crackers between meals. Whatever. We've established that this is a scary thing.
Frustrating as it is, I have to recognize that trying to "get control" is always dangerous for me. I don't like it, but I'm going to try to accept it. And I am going to try the food journal for a couple of week. If it makes me antsy or crazy, I'll confess to my sister and she'll whup some sense into me. Or I'll confess it here and y'all will do that.
I keep feeling like I have to explain myself. I don't want this to be a relapse. I've FINALLY got things at least a little together and I don't want to mess that up. I want to figure out why my body suddenly seems to be a stranger, and if there's anything I can do to get back in touch with it.