Thursday, March 12, 2009

Nerves

I have a lunch meeting with one of the founders of the Zienzele Foundation, which I've been interning for this quarter. I won't be the only one there, of course - in fact, it might be hard for me to even make myself noticeable. Which is okay, because I'm super nervous. What if she doesn't like me? What if I put my foot in it somehow? What if she hates my hair/pants/laugh?

Okay. These are obviously silly irrational anxieties, probably exacerbated by the stress of eating in an unfamiliar restaurant and the huge amount of food I ate last night. Seriously, this woman created a non-profit organization in order to help Zimbabwean AIDS orphans. "Nice" probably doesn't come close. And if she doesn't like me that much, fine - she's not the woman I work with directly. That person likes me.

As for the eating - I really, really need to let that go. I ate a lot last night. I ate even after I wasn't hungry anymore. I ate dessert. Okay. It's done, it's over with, and I don't have to beat myself up over it. There's nothing inherently wrong with eating a lot at a potluck with friends. Okay? Okay. Now stop thinking about it.

UPDATE: The lunch was fantastic. Holy crap. The woman is unbelievable - the work she's done, the stories she told. We came up with so many ideas! Once we get the new website together, I'll post more information about Zienzele.

1 comment:

MelissaS said...

so glad the lunch was wonderful. i wonder if you would have been less nervous if you hadn't believed you'd eaten too much the night before.

everything can feel ruined if i think i ate too much or weigh to much. it's horrible.

do remember that calories are cumulative. one larger than usual meal can't even put on one pound in realistic terms. AND that meal didn't sound too big. most non-eating disordered people eat past full sometimes. and most people eat dessert occasionally.

still, i know it's hard!