Thursday, March 5, 2009

In sleep

I had kind of an awful dream last night. My aunt had an eating disorder. I'm not entirely sure which aunt it was - my mother has six sisters - but clearly she'd been dealing with it for years and was in really horrible shape. Something happened - she had a seizure, I think - and she looked awful, black and blue and misshapen. I can't remember much beyond that, except urging my mother to get her on a feeding tube and explaining there are two different types, ones that go through the nose and ones that go right into your stomach.

Obviously the dream bothered me because I'm still thinking about it. Eating disorders are so common, and it kills me to think that so many other people have gone through what I did - and often their experiences are much, much worse. I hate the thought that anyone has gone through that, much less a family member or someone I love and care for. And I know that some of my relatives have experienced an eating disorder, and I know that some of my friends have. I wish there were more that I could do.


Cammy said...

Somehow, most of my comments to your posts seem to start off with "I do this too!" I hope that doesn't seem selfish, but you always seem to be writing about something that hits home with me. I know how you feel about thinking about others suffering from EDs. It's funny how we think nothing of putting ourselves through X, Y, and Z, but the thought of a loved one going through something similar is incredibly painful and frustrating. I see people around campus that are obviously struggling (and I'm sure there are plenty that are struggling just as much without it being obvious), and it really makes me angry, although at what I'm not precisely sure. I know from experience that you can't force or persuade someone into recovery, it has to come from them, but it's so hard to watch someone slide downhill.
I'm sorry you had an upsetting dream, that does sound awful. Do you know what could have triggered it (any contact with/news from those aunts recently)? I hope your day gets better.

Lisa said...

One of my (many) aunts is in the hospital, and ... I watched America's Next Top Model last night. Yeah.

And heck, Cammy, you're not selfish at all. I always enjoy your comments.

Just Eat It! said...

My aunt actually has an eating disorder. It hurts a lot to think that someone I love and am close to has suffered the same way I have. It's the same with my eating disordered friends. I always feel this compulsion to help them, even if I know I can't.