Friday, August 22, 2008

The wall

I've hit it. I went for two weeks feeling good about my body, exercising, enjoying food, and then I got up from the table after lunch and was just disgusted with myself. Look how much I ate! Look at that person - she only ate soup. You ate a GIANT turkey-feta-spinach-cranberry salad and TWO ROLLS. With NON-LOW-FAT dressing. Oh my god you are a tub.

This line of thinking continued for ... about four hours. I'm doing better now, and I'm really going to try hard not to restrict my eating. What's worse is that today's lunch was with a wonderful friend of my mother's, someone I haven't seen since I graduated to pullups. An otherwise lovely meal was shadowed by fear and anger every time I took a bite.

I will feel better about this by the time I go to D.C. next weekend. I will, dammit.

1 comment:

Angel said...

Hi Lisa~
Isn't it so frustrating! Your doing so well, and then from out of nowhere, the damned ED voice decides to strike, taking you off guard. You sound so strong though, and like you really want to beat this. Just tell ED to go to hell!

Much love,
Angie