Maybe it's all the disasters, but I've been thinking about my own mortality lately. Not in a Lord-Byron-morbid way, just in general. I'm not extremely fatalistic, but life can be a crapshoot in a lot of ways.
So if I am to meet an early demise, here are things you must or must not do to avoid being haunted by me:
1. DO NOT, under any circumstances, make a Facebook group in my memory. I don't need posts by my kindergarten classmates telling the world they "didn't know me that well, but she was a beautiful person blah blah blah." If you knew me "that well," you would know that I'm not beautiful; I'm flawed and messy and neurotic. But dammit, I'm me.
2. Use every part of me that you can. Kidneys, liver, heart, lungs, corneas, skin - take it all. I'm not going to use it.
3. When you're done harvesting me for other people, give what's left to some plants. Seriously, compost me.
4. Throw a party. Better yet, throw several. Family, get some party trays and some coolers of beer/pop and spend some time together. Friends, get some kegs and drink fixins and play kings until you can't see straight. All I ask is for a ceremonial rum & diet coke toast at some point.
And if my 7:20 train to D.C. derails tonight, make sure this gets on fark.com.