To the hippie-boy in the computer lab:
Yes, I killed that spider. I killed that spider because it was bigger than a quarter and I hate spiders. No, I do not care that you think it had a soul or that it was an essential part of the local ecosystem. I know it splattered all over the glass front of the computer lab. I know my facial expression was probably priceless. But then I went and got some paper towels and cleaned it up so the custodians wouldn't have to. Oh wait, I killed some trees with the paper towels. Next time, instead of glaring at me when I smush one of those eight-legged motherfuckers, get up and carry it outside on an index card.
I think the heat is getting to me.