I am more upset about things going on in my family. My youngest sisters are not liking college so much after being there a week. This brouhaha is bringing up issues and habits that have gone untouched for years.
My sister and I, and my brother (in different ways) were pushed to achieve. We were never allowed to quit - a sport, a job, a class. You started it, you fulfilled the commitment you made. We were challenged - take the AP classes. Stop reading and go practice algebra (this was actually a common theme). I think it was different for my youngest sisters - there wasn't the pushing, but then also the expectations weren't as high. They weren't told they could do the things the older kids did.
I feel like maybe I wasn't a good role model for them. Maybe I didn't try to motivate them enough myself. Maybe I didn't let them know that I think they are amazing people who can do anything they want. Maybe I didn't let them know enough that I believe in them, I believe in them so fucking much. I love them and they are marvelous people; if I had told them that more often, maybe they wouldn't be feeling the way they are now.
I'm 600 miles away - I can't shake them and hug them like I want to. I can't go back in time and tell them all the things I should have told them
Chimpanzee family says if we'd spent more time grooming, we wouldn't have this problem.