Monday, May 31, 2010

Baby things change

Yesterday was a good time. We met a group of friends for brunch at 11:30 - should mention this is a champagne brunch with all-you-can-drink mimosas - stayed until the buffet closed at 4, then went back to our friends' apartment and stayed there until 11. Twelve hours at brunch might have been a little excessive, but it was still a good time.

I slept until almost 9 and now my grad school work is weighing on my mind, but so are some other things. I met a a friend-of-a-friend whose job title is "senior scientist." If that doesn't make her cool enough in your eyes, she does research all around Europe on quality-of-life, long-term care, pain management, etc. All of these big, meaty topics in medical anthropology. On top of that, she travels all the time - England, Denmark, France, Finland.

It's bringing up some old emotions. When I was a kid I wanted to have a career, I wanted to love it, and I wanted to be good at it. I never dreamed I'd be 23 and engaged; surely I'd be too busy building a career and anyway, who needs a man to be happy? Of course, life does things and I am amazingly happy to be with Jim. Now I'm facing the somewhat uncomfortable realization that I'd rather have a 9-5 (or 7-5, like it is now) job that lets me spend time with the person I love and the people I for whom I care deeply. I'll be an office drone - actually, right now an office job sounds AMAZING. Prestige isn't a big deal. I don't have to be the best and the brightest. I just want a desk and a computer and a lunch break. And starting at 9 would be great, too.

Do I go back to anthropology after I'm done with Teach for America? That's more school, more money and more time, and an advanced degree in anthropology doesn't always equal a higher salary. And a travel-heavy job would be wonderful, but it would take me away from Jim and the home we've built together. I don't think I want to be a teacher forever, but it might be something I do beyond my two-year commitment (though NOT in DCPS).

I used to think the majority of my satisfaction in life would come from my job.* Now I think it's going to come from sharing a couch, a kitchen, and a life with someone at the end of the day.

*Just realized this post might come off as judgmental or even antifeminist (gulp). It's NOT. The beautiful thing about feminism (or at least my own feminism) is that yes, you can be a CEO in New York or you can be barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen in Kentucky - so long as you get to choose. Whatever floats your boat.

1 comment:

ola said...

I used to be VERY-> unhelathy religious and my dream was big family and eing full time mother util I was sixteen or seventeen (I succesfully ignored I don't have even my period). Then I was absolutely obsessed with my school, research and work and future career. Now (and I thik it is thank to recovery) I think whatever happens we can find some kind of compromise or balance. It may not be easy, but we were through tougher things. I think your teaching is HUGE experience and very demanding so that I can imagine you, Jim and your kids traveling, working, parenting... you can do it Lisa:) Me and my sisters are all in all products of two traveling scientists (which may be not the best argument..;)