Sunday, October 18, 2009

Week in review

Or not, because last week was so epically bad that I never even want to think about it again. I managed to piss off so many people, from people at work to parents to Jim. Jim. Of all the people I do not want to piss off, I pissed off Jim and ruined the Friday night that was supposed to be my respite from the crap of work.

But I digress.

Last week was so, so bad that it forced me to take a really hard look at myself. I looked at my attitude, my actions, my words. It was kind of like when I look in the mirror before I take a shower - troubling. I found a lot of things that made me squirm. A lot of things that I want to change.

Of course change is hard and scary and whatnot. But I have to do it, or I'll keep having shitty weeks and pissing off the one person who's keeping me together.


Harriet said...

Change is good, but hard. And you have to take it slow, or it doesn't stick. Realizing you want to change is a good first step I think.

Sarah said...

I agree with Harriet. Break down some goals that are actually achievable and measurable (SMART goals, if you are familiar w/ the acronym) and start from there. It's temping to try to change your entire personality, way of interacting, and coping all at once, but that...will not work. Let's just put it that way. From someone who knows! I have ruined plenty of weekends w/ D and he still loves me. Time and a sincere desire to change (and progress towards that goal) will really help in smoothing things over though.

I Hate to Weight said...

i've pissed off many a loved one. it's natural. jim loves you.

i like to remember that i can't change the past, even if the past is truly cringe-worthy. harriet and sarah are right -- take it close, you can't change everything at once.

are you having any fun? can you plan a really fun evening? do something silly? feel like a kid again yourself?

i always pray for strength. i'll pray for some for you too.