Thursday, December 10, 2009

Fail confession

I got sick this morning in my classroom and went home. Thank goodness I have a bathroom in my classroom.

I thought I was just sick, but once I got home and slept for two hours, I realized it was a panic attack. I've never had one make me puke before, so that threw me.

I feel like such a failure for going home. I'm starting to think the same voice that's always telling me to try harder, to be stronger, to be better is the same voice that was always telling me to be thin, to be better.


Harriet said...

You're not a failure, despite the little voice in your head. You felt sick, you went home. That's a good thing! If you had had a stomach virus that made you throw up would you feel like a failure then?

lisalisa said...

I started therapy at age 12 (pre-ed) because I was having panic attacks that were so intense that I would vomit. It was the worst hell I have been through. And very real, and uncontrollable. Not a failure.
YOU are not a failure!

Cammy said...

You are NOT a failure! You're human. You were under immense pressure. And removing yourself from a situation when you are stressed enough that your body is reacting like that is the only good option. Hang in there, please take care and treat yourself kindly.