Sunday, November 22, 2009


The week at school started out magnificently crappy and then got better toward the end. I'm trying so, so hard not to derive my self-worth from others - something I'm beginning to realize I've done all my life. Just because I was me didn't mean jack - I still needed to be something good, anything, in someone else's eyes. I didn't have - and I still have trouble finding - a sense of intrinsic worth.

But Friday and Saturday were okay. I went out both nights (nothing wild or crazy, just some time with Jim and a friend) and I managed not to cry or feel horrible about myself.

I have an appointment with a new psychologist on Tuesday. We'll see how that goes.


lisalisa said...

hope the new psychologist works out!

Harriet said...

Good luck with the new psychologist, I hope that goes well. It's so great that you are realizing your tendency to derive your self worth from others. You are still so young, and have so much of your life ahead of you, it's so good to figure it all out now. But I'm sorry that being OK means going out without crying or feeling horrible. Maybe one day being OK will mean feeling happy.

Cammy said...

How did it go with the new psychologist? I hope you had a great holiday!