Saturday, December 6, 2008

Frustration

I just wrote a very whiny, self-pitying post and deleted it. I hate that in the middle of so many wonderful things - my family, the holidays - I dwell on negatives. I'm losing sleep over my thesis. I'm so worried about my Teach for America interview. Even now that I'm back on my meds I dig myself into these anxiety-holes and that's all I can see.

I could be in DC right now, sitting at a "banquet" at Medieval Times in celebration of a friend's birthday and Ph.D. I could be drinking a flagon of mead and cheering jousters. I could be sitting next to Jim. Instead I'm snowed in at home - on my day off. The last indignity? I couldn't even get my hair cut today.

2 comments:

Caitlin Dale said...

I can totally relate. But in my experience, every time I wallow in anxiety and pity I end up feeling silly for doing it. For me, as I believe in God, I feel like he shakes his head at me with a look of amused concern, as if to say "Why did you freak out for nothing kid?". And I feel stupid. I don't know what your beliefs are..but I think you can at least relate in some way to my little story here. The moral of the story is that everything does always work out. Even though its hard for the terminally anxious, like us, to see that.
Feel better.

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